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Healthcare: Merry Christmas 2022 and Happy New Year 2023

December 21, 2022 0 Comments

As the end of 2022 approaches, here are some medical jokes to add a few laughs to your end of year celebrations.

Another year has spun by, with the end of 2022 almost here and 2023 about to kick off. For most of us, but particularly people working in healthcare jobs, it’s been a year of gradually moving on from the worst of the global pandemic of the past three years and adjusting to a life where COVID is endemic in our lives.

This hasn’t meant less work for our amazing doctors, GPs, nurses, pharmacists, allied healthcare and all the support workers who have worked tirelessly to catch up on time lost and who continue to serve our community so admirably.

But hopefully as the year wraps up, most of us will have the chance to get together for an Australian Christmas or end-of-year celebrations, and well deserved to. 

And, as you sip your cold drink of choice with your colleagues, friends and family, it’s time to crack a few medical jokes to keep the mood light. Or maybe you’ll use one or two of them the next time a patient is a bit nervous and you know a self-deprecating joke will help – they say laughter can be the best medicine.

Spoiler – they are very much “dad” jokes. 

Medical jokes to bring on 2023

1. Pregnant pause

Man: “My wife is pregnant, and her contractions are only two minutes apart!”
Doctor: “Is this her first child?” The man thinks for a moment.
Man: “No, you idiot! This is her husband!”

2. Cutie

Doctor:  “Turns out, you have acute appendicitis.”
Patient: “Cute compared to who?”

3. I can see clearly now…or not

Patient: “I always see spots before my eyes.”
Doctor: “Didn’t the new glasses help?”
Patient: “Sure, now I see the spots much clearer.”

4. Bladder issues

How does the receptionist at a urology department answer the phone?
“Urology office— can you hold?”

5. Second opinions

Doctor: “You’re very sick.”
Patient: “Can I get a second opinion?” 
Doctor: “Yes, of course! You’re very ugly too.”

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6. Spectacles

Did you hear about the optometrist who fell into his lens grinding machine?
Apparently he really made a spectacle of himself.

7.Temperature check?

A doctor walks into a staff meeting with a rectal thermometer tucked behind his ear. 
Nurse: “Um, Doctor Smith, why do you have a rectal thermometer behind your ear?”
The doctor grabs the thermometer, looks at it and shakes his head angrily.
Doctor: “Damn, some guy has my pen!”

8. Burning questions

A guy arrives at work with both ears bandaged.
His boss: “What happened to your ears?”
The guy: “Well, yesterday I was ironing a shirt when the phone rang and I accidentally answered the iron.”
His boss: “Well that explains one ear but what about the other one?”
The guy: “I had to call the doctor!”

9. Memory

Patient: “Doctor, I think I’m losing my memory!”
Doctor: “When did that happen?”
Patient: “When did what happen?”

10. Fresh air

A man goes to the doctor with flatulence. 
Doctor: “How often do you pass gas?” 
Patient: “Maybe 10 to 15 times an hour.”
The doctor excuses himself, leaves his office for a moment, then returns with a pole with an ugly looking iron hook. 
The man screams in horror: “What are you going to do with that, Doc?”
Doctor: “Well, this appointment could go for at least thirty minutes, so I’m going to open some windows.”

A final word from Gorilla Jobs

From everyone at Gorilla Jobs, thanks again to health staff Australia-wide for being the rock solid foundation in helping Australians with their health needs in 2022.

And thank you for supporting our business by coming to us when you wanted to change jobs or find suitable staff. We very much look forward to helping everyone again in 2023 and beyond.

Fauzi Kaylani and I are extremely proud to lead such an energetic, passionate and determined team which has gone the extra mile in helping pair candidates with desirable job roles. As we move into 2023, it is a pleasure to be able to continue supporting our consultants so they can ensure both candidate and employer success.

Jimmy Bosmans, Managing Partners, Gorilla Jobs